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Help for Christian Men


“Is not this the kind of fasting I have chosen:

to loose the chains of injustice and untie the cords of the yoke,

to set the oppressed free and break every yoke?”

Isaiah 58:6


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Changing Men, Changing Lives (CMCL), is a 27-week program designed to help men develop God’s plan for intimacy, partnership and unity with women. It is predicated on the principles of safety for women, accountability for men and real opportunities for change. Participants are required to make a commitment to be nonviolent in order to attend. CMCL works in collaboration with the Domestic Abuse Intervention Program and is part of the Coordinated Community Response to violence in Duluth, MN.

The Changing Men, Changing Lives classes help men:

  • Define and identify controlling behavior
  • Understand intentions and motivations behind behavior
  • Examine thoughts, attitudes and beliefs and their connection to emotions and actions
  • Explore the effects of controlling/abusive behavior
  • Recognize and understand minimizing, denying and blaming as obstacles to positive change and personal growth
  • Understand Biblical equality and mutuality in marriage
  • Deal with the past to be able to live effectively in the present
  • Identify and learn to express feelings appropriately
  • Enhance healthy relationship skills

Changing Men, Changing Lives Themes:

  • Nonviolence
  • Nonthreatening Behavior
  • Respect and Love
  • Support and Trust
  • Honesty and Accountability
  • Sexual Respect
  • Partnership
  • Negotiation and Fairness

Woven throughout the curriculum is God’s theme – to grow us into the likeness of Jesus Christ. As believers, God has called us to “speak the truth in love.” When it happens in a confidential atmosphere of trust, accountability and encouragement, change happens!

The Change Process, A Journey through the “5R’s”:

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  • REMORSE: Feels guilt and sorrow for actions; doesn’t mean change!
  • REPENTANCE: Willing to do whatever it takes to turn away from actions; acknolwedges wrong doing
  • RESTITUTION: Makes amends, joins program(s), tells the truth
  • RESTORATION: Healing of self, relationship with God and others (but not necessarily the marriage)
  • RECONCILIATION: When the marriage relationship is able to be restored

The “5 R’s” are adapted from the work of Rev. Dr. Marie Fortune, Faith Trust Institute

Classes:

Classes are co-led by trained Christian men and women. This assures both a woman and a man’s perspective in the group process, and it models partnership. Men do not need to be affiliated with a church in order to participate, though many participants are referred by clergy.

Changing Men, Changing Lives Testimonials:

“I tried controlling my anger and it didn’t work; I couldn’t do it by myself. When I found out the class was 27 weeks, I said “Oh my gosh, that’s seven months!” But when the seven months was over, it wasn’t enough; I’m still coming and it’s the highlight of my week!” (Doug – married to Bonnie)

“I’ve seen him be transformed into someone I enjoy being with.” (Bonnie – married to Doug)

“I grew up experiencing my dad’s violence and made a vow to never be like him. In 1981, at age 21, I landed in jail for domestic assault and was ordered to attend programming at the Domestic Abuse Intervention Program. It changed my life and now God has called me to help other men change their lives” (Ty)

For More Information:

Email us at:

ChangingMenChangingLives@gmail.com

Or write us at:

CMCL

P.O. Box 161213

Duluth, MN 55816